FOR ALL THE CHARACTER BIOS… [Read more...]
FOR ALL THE CHARACTER BIOS… [Read more...]
- Scan a picture of Albert Einstein’s face in 3D to create a realistic-looking face mask. Wear it to the next class and say, “Your professor is sick today, so I’ll be covering the class…get out your pens and ink wells.”
- Create and print two gigantic 3D ears and place them on the sides of your head. Ask the students a question telling them to speak up when they answer.
- Create and print 3 extra fingers on each hand and see how long it takes for students to notice.
- 3D print several life size replicas of yourself and place them around the room during exam time. Students won’t know which one is the real you, thereby deterring any potential of cheating.
- Print out your classroom in 3D with the same room number and place it down the hall from your real classroom. Sit back and be entertained by all the confusion.
- During the previous week, tell the class there will be a famous guest speaker in the next class and they “won’t want to miss this class!”. Print out a life size 3D replica of Kim Kardashian and place it at the front of the classroom. Once everyone is excited and seated, tell them it’s not real, and proceed to give them all a surprise quiz.
- Create all your exams in 3D so that students have to wear those cheap, cardboard, red/blue 3D glasses in order to read it. Take a picture to show management how you are using leading-edge technology in the classroom.
- Print miniature 3D replicas of yourself for students to take home and place on their work desks for motivational purposes.
- Randomly, during the middle of a class, start to print out a 3D potter’s wheel, create a clay pot, and start singing ‘Unchained Melody’ by the Righteous Brothers.
- Become your students favourite prof by bringing in a 3D pizza printer and start handing out unlimited amounts of pizza for all of them.
- “Where’s the Professor?”
- “Not bad, I’ll give her a 7/10…if she wasn’t over 50…maybe an 8.5/10.”
- “He was probably pretty hot when he was younger.”
- “Psst…check out this Youtube video, it’s hilarious!”
- “Do you know of any places near the college where I can park for free?”
- “I guess the class started without me?”
- “Whaddya mean that I just sat through the wrong class?”
- “Where’s the tutoring office?”
- “I think I might register for this class; it was pretty interesting.” (this WAS said to me at the end of class…lol).
- “Quick, go to ‘Google Translate’!”
- “I think I’ve just discovered the cure for my insomnia!”
- “B.Y.O.D.? I thought it was B.Y.O.B.?”
- Mel Gibson might be the keynote speaker at the graduation ceremony and give the ‘Braveheart Freedom Speech’.
- If you feel insecure about not having a PhD, it’s ok, because even if you did have one, no one wants to hear about it anyway.
- You will boost your language skills by learning Australian slang.
- You will end up becoming one of the most self-confident, laid back professors on the planet.
- You can secretly think of yourself as being the ‘The Wizard of Oz’.
- You can teach an entire online course in the outback, sitting around a campfire drinking beer, and partying with the ‘blokes’ in the rock band AC/DC.
- As a fun and entertaining problem-solving exercise, you could get students to try to teach kangaroos and emus how to walk backwards.
- You’ll never have a problem with students arriving late for class; they’ll always arrive a few minutes early.
- You can use an Australian Cattle Dog to help you get organized for class.
- You can end each class with the Aussie chant, “Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi Oi Oi!”
Mid-July. 90-degree heat. Humid.
There’s nothing like the aroma of chicken smothered in barbecue sauce as it sizzles when it hits the hot grill of the barbecue. Envious neighbours can smell the smoke for hundreds of yards away. If you’re lucky, it may even attract ‘someone special’ to pay you a surprise visit in your back yard?
This is going to sound like one of those famous cliché intros that are in men’s magazines but, on one hot, scorching day in July, I never thought it would happen to me! Well, A female ‘guest’ did show up.
She had big brown eyes, a cute little nose, with thick jet-black hair with a long streak of blond. However, she looked like she had a bit too much to drink as she kept stumbling and falling to the ground as she walked towards me. I was raised to watch out for this ‘type’, so I quickly turned off the barbecue and slowly walked back into the house. Most guys would think, “Are you crazy?” Not in this case. In fact, I wish it had never happened to me; my surprise ‘guest’ was… [Read more...]
- There are closed-door meetings between the Union Reps and the Manager of the coffee shop located next to the college.
- Professors who own cottages are seen re-opening them and re-stocking the fridge.
- Professors are seen attending the Union meetings.
- Local sign makers start to schmooze Union Reps with complimentary pens emblazoned with the college logo.
- Professors start to recognize their Union Reps in the hall and give them the secret nod of trust and acceptance.
- Professors start ‘brown bagging’ their lunches.
- Faculty no longer refers to their Chairs and Deans by their first names, but as “Management”.
- Management no longer refers to their Professors by their first names, but as “Faculty”.
- Professors start to open and read all the unchecked emails sent from the Union office.
- When students ask Professors about a potential strike, the responses all sound like ‘Sergeant Shultz’ in the TV show ‘Hogan’s Heroes’; “I know…nothing!”
- Professors foresee spending more time at home with their spouse/partner, so they are seen calling a divorce lawyer ‘just in case’.
- A ‘signs of life’ detector.
- The agenda you revised 20 minutes before class.
- The ‘new and improved’ college policies and procedures.
- An ‘ice-breaker’ joke. “A professor walks into a bar…”
- The I.T. department phone number on speed dial.
- An ‘urban dictionary’ to translate student slang.
- Your best mum mum mum mah p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face.
- A ‘Chrome Book’, ‘iPad’, ‘MacBook’, ‘PC’, ‘Smartphone’, ‘E-reader’, ‘PDA’…Coffee.
- The answers to the questions that you will definitely be asked: “Where’s the washrooms?”, “Is there an exam in this course?”, and “When’s the break?”.
- A key to get into the classroom.
- ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ by Queen
- Anything by Justin Bieber!
- ‘My heart will go on’ by Celine Dion
- ‘I’ll make love to you’ by Boyz II Men
- ‘Baby got back (I like big butts)’ by Sir Mix-a-Lot
- ‘Hot for teacher’ by Van Halen
- ‘Like a Virgin’ by Madonna
- ‘Me So Horny’ by 2 Live Crew
- ‘I can’t get no satisfaction’ by the Rolling Stones
- ‘Mrs. Brown you have a lovely daughter’ by Herman’s Hermits.
- ‘Tonight I’m f#@!g you’ by Enrique Iglesias
- ‘Don’t stand so close to me’ by The Police
It’s that time again, so here are a few tips to make this ‘glorious’ event even more glorious…er.
Welcome to my blog!
Knowledge is wasted unless you share it with others, so after 20 years of teaching in a college environment, I’ve decided to create this blog.
When you need to take a break from marking and prepping and want a quick laugh, get some teaching tips, or just find higher ed resources, you've come to the right place.
Also, I'd really appreciate that you 'spread' the word to your colleagues to visit this site! As you can see from the flag counter, many already have, so thanks to all of you!
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