‘HIGHUR Education’ cartoon by Phil Jones: Introducing the Characters

MOAppsQuickWordPressImage 1315855636 HIGHUR Education cartoon by Phil Jones: Introducing the Characters


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Summer vacation, so back in September with new posts and videos. Thanks for visiting this year…over 40K views!

PB screen mishap 231x300 Summer vacation, so back in September with new posts and videos. Thanks for visiting this year…over 40K views!

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College Humour: Chalk Stick Cartoons ‘Graduation’


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Top 10 (or so) professors personal ringtones (that shouldn’t go off in class).

- ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ by Queen

- Anything by Justin Bieber!

- ‘My heart will go on’ by Celine Dion

- ‘I’ll make love to you’ by Boyz II Men

- ‘Baby got back (I like big butts)’ by Sir Mix-a-Lot

- ‘Hot for teacher’ by Van Halen

- ‘Like a Virgin’ by Madonna

- ‘Me So Horny’ by 2 Live Crew

- ‘I can’t get no satisfaction’ by the Rolling Stones

- ‘Mrs. Brown you have a lovely daughter’ by Herman’s Hermits.

- ‘Tonight I’m f#@!g you’ by Enrique Iglesias

- ‘Don’t stand so close to me’ by The Police

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Graduation Ceremony tips for professors.

Screen Shot 2012 05 17 at 3.03.08 PM Graduation Ceremony tips for professors.It’s that time again, so here are a few tips to make this ‘glorious’ event even more glorious…er.

  1. When you’re sitting on stage, remember that the ceremony is being recorded; and so are you.
  2. For women, don’t wear seven inch stiletto heels. If you trip and fall, it will most likely ‘go viral’ on Youtube.
  3. Don’t drink lots of coffee, tea, or water before the ceremony; you can’t get up, walk off the stage, go to the bathroom, come back, and sit back down (you’re not in a movie theatre!).
  4. When walking up to the stage, periodically wave and give a lot of ‘thumbs-up’ gestures towards the audience; it will make you look popular.
  5. Don’t eat ‘gassy’ foods before the ceremony; enough said. [Read more...]

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The real meanings behind the grades professors hand out.

(A+)  Outstanding . You actually did as well, or even better than I would have when I was in college…no, really.

(A)  Outstanding, but you should have turned the last page on the final exam and realized there was one more page of questions to answer.

(A-)  Outstanding. Hopefully the party you went to the night before the final exam was worth not getting an ‘A’.

(B+)  Consistently thorough. Therapy may be needed to find out why you’re afraid of achieving an ‘A’ grade.

(B) Consistently thorough. I see, you care about getting an ‘A’ in the course…but I guess not that much.

(B-)  Consistently thorough. Coulda…Woulda…Shoulda?

(C+)  Satisfactory. The only reason you have the ‘+’ added is because you attended all of your classes.

(C )  Satisfactory. You’re putting in just enough effort to coast along. I hope you’re inheriting a lot of money in the future.

(C-)  Satisfactory. You’re having lots of fun at college aren’t you?

(D+)  Minimal. Congratulations, you’re a leader among minimalists.

(D)  Minimal. Ok, so keep doing what you were doing all through high school, which apparently wasn’t much, and we’ll see how that works out for you next semester.

(D-)  Minimal. You’re only passing because I never want to have you in my class ever again.

(F)  Fail. Oh, I get it…you don’t give a sh*t because your Mom and Dad are paying your tuition!

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College Humour: Top 10 (or so) things not to say to your graduating students.

-“So, what can I bring to the grad party?!”

-“I’m on vacation at the cottage all summer, but feel free to call anytime if you need career advice.”

-“Sure, here’s my cell number…”

-“Even if you don’t get a job in the industry, I’m pretty sure all the courses you took will be useful somewhere.”

-“It was nice to meet your Mom/Dad at the grad ceremony…is he/she single?”

-“We’re changing all the textbooks, so unfortunately you won’t be able to sell them to next year’s students.”

-“Now that you’ve graduated, how about a dinner and movie sometime?”

-“Thanks for your comments on how to improve the courses; we’ll put them on file.”

-“You’re the last graduating group from the program…unfortunately it’s being ‘axed’ due to low demand in the marketplace.”

-“We’re desperately looking for instructors to teach in the program…do you want to teach a course?”

-“Try to be positive…marks aren’t everything.”

-“Whatever you do, don’t mention my name during your interviews and you should be fine.”

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College Humour: Top 10 (or so) signs you’re becoming that ‘old professor’!

- You were once the ‘bad’ (cool), ‘hip’ professor; now you’re just the professor with the bad hip.

- You don’t give a sh*t anymore when you hear a student call you “Sir” or “Maam”.

- You’re ‘maxing out’ all of your annual physiotherapy and massage therapy benefits.

- You’re mortified when you hear a student listening to a new song that’s using a re-mix of your favorite classic rock song.

- You know the exact date when you’ll be eligible to retire with a full pension.

- Those little kids that used to play with your little kids are now sitting in your class.

- The highlight of your day is reading the newspaper during your office hours.

- You have to allow for an extra 10 minutes to get to your classes on time because of your slower walking pace.

- You have finally reached an ‘expert’ level status in your field…just before your retirement.

- You hate those afternoon classes because they conflict with your naptime.

- You have to cancel class because you forgot your reading glasses.

- You’re spending more time complaining in the union office than complaining in the classroom.

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College Humour: Top 10 reasons why it sucks to be non-tenured.

1. You have recurring nightmares of a sinister-looking ‘Bugs Bunny’ laughing at you while he dangles a ‘golden carrot’ that is never quite within reach. You always wake up in a cold sweat after he yells at you, “Ehh…What’s up Prof!”

2. You have to try to make the students like you, unlike the full-time faculty.

3. You are given that sh*tty office chair that a full-time faculty didn’t want anymore due to a missing bolt.

4. Full-time faculty get first dibs on all the good textbooks.

5. If you are home and sick with ‘the runs’, you still have to teach class or you don’t get paid.

6. You don’t get to stand on the picket line and wave at the cars passing by.

7. You get nasty glares from the full-time faculty if you take two pieces of pizza at the department meeting.

8. You’re constantly reminded of your non-tenured status every time you pick up your mail and see your hand-written name plate that was cut out from a piece of paper.

9. You’ll never get that ‘golden tan’ because you are teaching all summer.

10. You don’t receive the union newsletter, resulting in a loss of hours of reading enjoyment.

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Higher Education Cartoons: ‘Chalk Stick Cartoons’, Vol. 5


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College Humor: Campus Cheating- Top 10 (or so) ways to catch students.

-They start off the ‘Academic Misconduct’ meeting by saying to the ‘Cheating Review Committee’, “It’s not you…it’s me.”

-They actually know how to spell ‘plagiarism’, because they have been caught so many times doing it!

-Simply go around the room repeating the “Eenie Meenie Miney Mo” lyric and there will be an 80% probability that the students who end up on the last “Mo” are cheating.

-They try to trick you by telling you that their ‘lazy eye’ is a common medical condition when in fact, they spent countless hours watching Youtube videos called ‘Be a Chameleon in the exam room…cheat and go undetected by learning to make your eyes look in two different directions at once!’ and ‘Funny party tricks using your eyes!’

-The student ‘scopes’ the classroom the day before the exam.

-When they enter the exam room, they take out a can of black spray paint, ski mask, and gloves from their backpack and spray the security camera(s) in the room.

-All of their paragraphs start with ‘Lorem Ipsum’.

-On closer inspection of the tattoo covering the back of their hand, you notice the words aren’t “sex, drugs, and rock and roll”, but instead, are the keywords used throughout your course.

-In the middle of the exam, shout out, “Hey YOU, I can see you cheating!” and see who looks up first with a panicked look on their face.

-They tell you the reason they have writing on their palms is because they just left a palm reading session with “Madam Jones, the world’s most amazingly accurate psychic!”

-They’re coughing the ‘Morse Code’ during the exam.

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